Improvised Exploding Pen Conspiracy

This is the desktop IED that secreted its evil self in my pen cup at work and detonated sometime overnight. At least I think it was overnight, seemingly it was unexploded when I left work yesterday. Such is my habit that I select the pen colors I want to use first thing in the morning (yes, I use different colors every day, largely depending on whim), pretty much use those all day, and replace them when I get ready to leave, so I can only suppose it happened during the night. I started work this morning, made tea, grabbed a couple of pens and started to work.

This was not one of the pens I chose; It took me a few minutes to realize there was blue liquid ink on my hands, well, first the hand I write with, which no doubt spread it to the other when I pulled the cap off, then, just to make things annoying, dappled a design across my desk that I then smeared my forearms in, and was most entertained to discover I had touched my face a couple of times and established a bit of abstract temporary tattoo there as well. Temporary being just a theory when it came to cleaning it up and is the reason I keep disinfecting wipes in my desk-not for fear that a stray germ might drift into my workspace, but that a malicious pen might disgorge it’s guts in the dark recesses of a container and pool in such a way that any pen I choose will begin its persistent ink distribution process.

I’ve had this happen before, it happened in my purse during a flight once, which was hell to clean up in-flight and the purse was never the same, but I don’t think there was any appreciable change of air pressure or altitude in my office last night. The offending pen is always a retractable, and after it happens, you have to clean up every single everything else in the container, container included. A narrow, deep dark place.

Just glad I discovered the face-painting attempt before my coworkers did.